A taste of my more popular pieces (click to read in entirety)
Stopping By Some Bookshelves on a Snowy Evening
(severe apologies to Robert Frost)
Robert Frost books on amazon.com
Whose shelves these are I think I know.
He is off at the bookstore though;
He will not see me stopping here
To read his books and quickly go.
My little friend must think me weird
To stop with a library near
At this home of a friend just left
This twentieth day of the year.
He questions if my brain's bereft
Asking about my conscience's theft
The only other sound's the sweep
Of flipping pages -- language heft.
The shelves are lovely, dark and deep.
But I have "To Be Reads" to keep,
And books to read before I sleep,
And books to read before I sleep.
Parody of Stairway to Heaven about Amazon reviewers
"There's a lady who writes that all romances are gold
And she gives them all five stars at Amazon
But Bernabo's there, and he just doesn't care
Because he writes far more than his fair share
Woe oh oh oh oh oh
And she gives them all five stars at Amazon"
see more poetry and popular song parodies
Review of Slim Fast
"Smoothly poured, and smoothly swallowed, this delicate chocolate drink danced in daylight, a creamy delight, as if to tease me, please me into a heightened awareness of all that is succulent and good. And, mmm, it was and is good, this chocolate Slim Fast."
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Bits of Nonsense Come in Threes
Edgar Allan "Magnum" Poe vs Walt "The Punk" Whitman, Daylight, Finding Money
(January 4, 2009)
- Edgar Allan Poe never stared down Walt Whitman in Oklahoma, with a loaded .44 Magnum, and said, "This is poetic justice, punk. You're going to be pushing leaves of grass from the dirt side. I'll read your crap... nevermore. Ha ha ha," before filling him full of lead. Could not have happened. Both men were dead by the time this gun was introduced in the 1950s.
- No matter how many daylight hours there are in July, summer days are brief.
- Not too many people are disappointed when they find a dollar just a-blowin' in the wind.
see today's nonsense